Process of Inquiry--The Work of Byron Katie

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Permalink Reply by Orly Zirinsky on April 19, 2009 at 6:59pm

Hi Everyone

I wanted to share my experience of doing the work tonight with my 8 year old son. For weeks he's been telling me how much he hates his school and how no one (except for his teachers) likes him and how he hates everyone. I've just listened for a while and had to do the work alot on "no one likes my son" and "i'm a bad mom" and "it's all my fault"etc... Every once in a while I'd ask if he'd like to do the work and the answer for this particular situation has always been no. I learned early never to push or imply that he should. Well tonight I asked him if he'd like to question the thought that he hates school. He said yes! After working with this one we kept running up against something that would just stop him in inquiry. It was the other thought that no one likes him that kept popping up. So we moved to that thought and began to question it. He was unable to find anyone who liked him , anyone who he thought was kind to him and I thought maybe there was something else going on but couldn't see what. Suddenly out of my mouth popped," Elih, do you like you?" He just completely stopped and got very quiet. About 2 minutes later he said he didn't know. I asked him if he could find one thing he likes about himself. It took him a few minutes but he came up with one. Then I asked for another. Again silence. I asked if I could share one. Yes. So I share and then pretty soon we're going back and forth sharing what we love about him! I think we must have come up with 50 and of course we could have kept going. At the end he said,"Mom, this conversation has really helped me, I feel like I just got a new toy and now I get to find all the things I love about myself! Tommorow I'm going to start writing a book of poetry about the whole world because I'm so good at poetry". What an amazing gift to be with children! I can't even begin to express my gratitude for this work and Katie for bringing it forth.- (An excerpt from Katie's parenting forum )

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Permalink Reply by Orly Zirinsky on April 19, 2009 at 11:58pm

"My son Ross is racing in a celebrity motocross race. Why would I reach out to him with reasons why racing such large powerful motorbikes can cost a person his body-his limbs, his spine. Why would I remind him of what he already knows? He has seen it, has seen the pain come himself and to others. What could I say that would be more powerful than his own experience? "Don't do this, it's dangerous, you could be hurt." The track looks impossible to a mother's eyes, the hills too steep to climb, the hairpin turns too complicated. I look at the smile on his face, and I know that this is his way. And I feel the same joy that I love about me. He's at the starting line. The gate drops. And within two laps, I see him pull off the track. He's the first one off. There's a smile on his face as he meets me. "I think I broke my leg. I'm not sure." I say, "Let's go put some ice on it and get some x-rays." We begin to move toward the pit. So often I have seen him finish a race anyway, under similar conditions. This time he doesn't. He says to me, "Mom, it doesn't look broken, but I'm not going to push it." As he limps away, he is my hero. Heroism to me is balance. That's what he is experiencing, as I see it, and that's better than finishing the race."--Byron katie

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Permalink Reply by dave paul allen on May 3, 2009 at 7:21am

Well thats a lovely story about your 8 year old son. Thank you.

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Permalink Reply by Orly Zirinsky on May 6, 2009 at 3:40am

Hi,

It's a sharing I uploaded from www.thework.com and it is lovely. It is not about my own son. Thank you, Orly

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