The Work TV - Byron Katie

Comment

Comment by Orly Zirinsky on May 14, 2009 at 5:02am

My life is already so successful that I don’t need to be. I’m so successful that I don’t need to be born. Success is prior to anything. It’s the ultimate. Imagined success is delusion. And if you think you’re successful, good. And if you think you’re a failure, then you may even strive for the success story, using life to bear out the reality. This is not true success. It’s just imagined, and it’s okay.

I love the world as my self. I am my only world. I’m the only one here, the world is my projection, my imagination lived. The imagined world, however, is more than one. One is more than one, as it is a number that implies something before it. It implies two, and then three is born out of it, and more, of anything: humans, dogs, cats, trees, sky, sound, taste, feel. Do I love this world? Yes. When it appears to live and when it appears to die. Do I love when it appears to die? Of course. How could I not? Look at what it leaves in the dream world. Look what fills that vacuum. Mind is infinite and giving. The questioned mind loves the infinite way of it. There’s a law within this world: when you are positive that life is so good that it can’t get any better, it has to. And it is willing to, and looks forward to, whatever the dream world called life would bring. Beautiful, beautiful, misunderstood, benevolent life. Anyone who doesn’t love imagined life, the world of the dream, has not understood that their life is mind, and unquestioned mind, when it is at war with itself, hasn’t realized that as long as it believes what it thinks, it’s lost, and that there’s nothing outside it. That is its job, until it sets itself free.

--Katie

Comment by Orly Zirinsky on May 14, 2009 at 5:01am

The world is myself. With no identification, with no belief in the I that I have always assumed, the I that I think myself to be, how do I know what I am? I don’t, unless I believe what I think about me and what you think about me. I could speak as the floor, the sky, or this body. Why would I limit myself?

A created imagined self is all that exists, unless you believe your thoughts. And you can question it away if you really want to take the trip. It is safe, I can assure you. When you question what you think you are, it leaves no self, it leaves you as something more valuable: the unchanging nature of what the dream flows out of, what the dream mirrors when mind understands itself. As long as life is a dream, let’s deal with the nightmare. Question what you believe and see what’s left. I call it heaven. Until you genuinely realize that you are not the you that you believe yourself to be, you can’t be free to be more, and you are more. That’s why limited mind is so painful, to remain as small awareness, as limited mind when it is not. Mind is always attempting to burst out of its own cage when identified as limited body. When you realize the nature of mind, when you realize that it is everything, the true and good nature of everything, and no nightmare, problem, sickness, or poverty is possible.

What’s it like to live without a self? Nothing happens, not even life. Everything you see, touch, smell, taste, is over before the action or noticing, so even the action is not happening. My foot just moved, and I only watched the past as it appears to be happening now. This is the power and the goodness of mind realized—mind as everything. I cannot even swallow my tea, it’s gone even before it seems to be happening, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I look at the poster on the wall of my beloved husband beside the gold mask on the cover of his Gilgamesh, and my eyes remain on the poster, the gaze is held, it seems to exist, it’s the strongest of illusions, and yet as much as I love it, it’s still an illusion. No thought, no world. No thought believed, no time, no space, no reality. My life is over, and I clearly see that it never began. That this little thing could be real in itself is possible only if it believes what it thinks.

--Katie

Comment by Orly Zirinsky on May 14, 2009 at 5:01am

Hope and fear are two sides of the same thing. Hope is the story of a future. If I need security, and I have no money, and my children are hungry, and my landlord is going to evict me tomorrow, and I don’t know what I’m going to do, and I believe my stressful thoughts about a future, I am filled with terror in the moment. If you offer me security and a way out, I’m still standing in the same house, in that moment my children are still hungry, and even though everything is the same in that moment, we all begin to celebrate because we have hope. We’re believing our story of security in the future, our home is not going to be taken, there is going to be plenty of food, toothpaste, clothes, and nothing has changed but our story in the moment, and we haven’t even eaten yet. Hope is a word for the future.

If you offer me security and I have hope and you keep your word, the mind begins to notice as it’s eating dinner, as the children are well fed, as the rent has been paid, the thoughts of a future again, and as we eat our soup pictures of next month and the thoughts of how am I going to pay the rent next month begin to take their place at the table. And as they do, they also destroy my gratitude. My home is being taken away as I sit with my children who are fed and my home that is paid for, and as my mind is in the future I just missed dinner and the security of the reality I’m living in this moment.

--Katie

Comment by Orly Zirinsky on May 14, 2009 at 5:01am

I can’t see anyone as a failure. It’s not possible. I meet people who believe that they are failures, people who believe that there’s a problem in the world. I meet people who are confused, at war with reality, and unable to love the way of it, at war with what is, throwing tantrums because they believe what they think about how reality should or shouldn’t be. If you’ve lost all your money, I see you are very grateful. You clearly see that you don’t need money when you don’t have it and you experience the pure joy of having nothing. Until you tell me otherwise, how could I project otherwise? If you tell me otherwise, then I see that you’re confused. No wonder you’re unhappy. You’re believing your story of reality. How deadly to believe that your unhappiness is due to a lack of money or anything else.

At one time I believed I was a failure. My mind had all the proof and I’ve come to see that none of that proof was valid, even though I believed it. I look back at reality and I had the perfect life. The difference between now and then is that I was blind and now I’m not, I was deaf and now I can hear. I died in that tomb in what I believed my identity was, and without the story I superimposed on reality, the identity left was nothing short of resurrection. Resurrection is nothing more than making visible the reality that lies under the unquestioned nightmare so strongly believed.

--Katie

Comment by Orly Zirinsky on May 14, 2009 at 5:00am

What is success, really? My beloved friend Joshie tells me, “I love the chapters from your new The Way of It book!” and I see Stephen’s face respond and I experience such joy in his joy. There is no future in it, no meaning to it, and yet there is the joy on his face. He lifts his hand to give me a high-five and the joy pours out as my hand meets his. No future or past can compete with the joy of this moment. The hands, the sounds, the experience of the moment right now, and now this. What does it have to do with a book? Nothing.

A successful human being is the one reading these words. Do you weigh 500 pounds? You’re a success. That’s your job, to weigh 500 pounds. Do you have cancer? That’s your job; you are successfully doing that job right now. It doesn’t mean it won’t change. It is only in this moment that cancer is required of you. Can you be happy from here, now, just as you are? Take on that job. You don’t understand the words you’re reading? Perfect! Your job is not to understand yet. Tomorrow morning in the shower you may experience a blast of understanding, a profound experience and appreciation of yourself as a successful human being, as you are, just a glimpse of how precious and how necessary and vital you are to the whole of life and how necessary it is for you to be you for all of us right now. There’s no mistake in the universe. There’s a perfect age, height, gender that is required of you right now. You don’t have a partner? Perfect. You have a partner you can’t get along with? Perfect. You’re a success in that job and job profiles change. Have you met yourself with unconditional love yet? This deep understanding—that is also success. When you understand that you are the way of it, the perfect way of it, there is nothing that can keep you from realizing that you’re a success and that there is nothing out of order.

--Katie

Comment by Orly Zirinsky on May 14, 2009 at 5:00am

Success is a happy state of mind. That’s all it can ever be. People place a bet, they win a lot of money, they experience a happy state of mind, and they often believe it’s the money or the winning. And with that thought they are teaching themselves to equate happiness with money and winning. Money and winning, which most people see as success, are nothing more than a mental blast leading you into the illusion of a future, where all is well, the illusionary pictures that lead one to believe in time. They were standing there without the money in their hand and now they’re standing in the same spot with a bunch of green paper in their hand. Good to stand in the moment, without a story, and to notice where you’re standing, what is standing, and what it really is that’s supporting you.

If someone were to ask, “Katie, are you a success?” I would say, “Yes. I love everything I think: of course I’m a success.” And then maybe I would notice the old dream. In the dream world, success is measured by physical beauty, the building you live in, the car you drive, millions of dollars, more food than you can eat, the finest material life and objects. And all of this can be crowned with unhappiness. You can be someone dying of thirst in a clear deep lake.

--Katie

Comment by Orly Zirinsky on May 9, 2009 at 12:18am

Business Inquiry: How to Do The Work at Work

What are the beliefs that are getting in the way of your job or your business?

In the same way as we do inquiry on our stressful thoughts about people in our lives, we can do business inquiry, questioning the assumptions we take to work and about our work or not having work. These assumptions may seem neutral to some of you, but they may in fact be causing a lot of stress in your life.

Why do we do things the same way over and over again and expect different results? Because we are believing our unquestioned thoughts over and over again in the same way, that's why. Simple.

What if we were to challenge our underlying beliefs, the beliefs about our work, the markets, our products and services, our customers, our partners, suppliers, our financial thinking, in fact everything we believe to be true about our jobs, the people we work with, our businesses?

Here's how.

(Notice how familiar this process is.)

Write down a business assumption or belief on the line below and then question it in writing (use additional blank paper as needed), using the following questions and turnarounds.
(If you prefer, use the One-Belief-at-a-Time Worksheet. You are welcome to download it here now.) While answering the questions, be still, and go deeply as you contemplate. The Work stops working the moment you stop answering the questions.

Assumption/Belief/Concept

(Fill in the blanks).........................

1. Is it true?

- The answer is a "yes" or a "no" only.
- If your answer is "no," continue to question #3.

2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?

3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? What actions, thoughts, images, happen as an employee, a business owner, or a consumer, when you believe that thought?

(The following sub-questions are meant to assist you in contemplation of the third question above. I include them only so that those of you who wish can be as thorough as possible. Some of them won't be appropriate, and some will work for you. Use the sub-questions as a possible menu that catches what you may have missed as you look at "How you react when you think that thought?".) Each of you deserves to be free from denial and delusional thinking, and it is always your choice. Those of you who are ready, take a deep breath; and now let's continue with the sub-questions to question #3.)

- What images do you see (past and/or future) when you believe that thought? Close your eyes, relax, contemplate, witness what you see.

- Describe your feelings; notice what happens in your emotional body when you believe that thought or assumption. Notice what addictions come to mind when you believe that thought. Notice the ones that you act on and any guilt that may follow. Describe in detail how you react.

- How do you treat your employees, customers, suppliers, partners, competitors when you believe that thought?

- How do you treat yourself when you believe that thought?

- What negative business behaviors happen when you believe that thought? (For example, defensiveness, secrecy, lies, exaggerations, justifications, theft, breach of laws (legal and moral), false accusations, anger, punitive behavior.)

- Where and when did that belief/assumption first occur to you (at what stage or part of the business)? After you define that, close your eyes and find its origin. Were you three years old when you recall its origin in your life? Six, seven years old? Notice: is it still causing fear and failures in your business and life as a consumer today?

- What negative results do you get for holding on to that belief or assumption? What are your business expectations, and what is the cost to you in losses, financial and personal?

- What do you fear would happen to your business and your financial life if you didn't believe that thought? (These, as well as the others, can be added to your list for inquiry later.)

- Does that thought bring peace or stress into your business life?

4. Who would you be without the thought?

Close your eyes; drop your belief just for a moment and look back; notice what your business would look like without that assumption.

What could your business be doing if you weren't holding on to this belief? What do you see? Find three examples of what you could easily do differently if you didn't believe that thought.

Find turnarounds. Are any of them as true as or truer than your original belief?

This is Jerry's Business Inquiry example: "Having more customers means having more profits"

Jerry: "I am a business development manager for a mid-size consumer goods company, and my team has a real hard time with this. We believe that 'having more customers means having more profit.' "

Next, Jerry questions the common business assumption held by his team. As you follow his inquiry, I invite you to notice your own experience in life when you believe this thought. (Maybe yours is, "Having more money means having a happier life." Or "having more friends means having more income." Or, "…….?")

Ask yourself: is it true? Is it true that "having more customers means having more profits"?
"Yes."

Can you absolutely know that it's true?
"No, we can't be 100% sure."

So how do you react when you believe the assumption that more customers equals more profit?
"Well, we go crazy trying to win new customers. We lower our prices, we go out of our way to sell. Sometimes our sales people push too hard. Sometimes they over-promise. Sometimes we fight with marketing or the product development team. . We stop trusting them, we begin to see it as "us," the good guys, versus "them," the bad guys, the ones not doing their jobs. We try to meet our quotas at all costs. Discounts, financing games. These hurt our business and our reputation."

Who would you be without that thought?
"We might have more time and energy to focus on the customers we do have, or on improving our product. We could work on getting closer to our best customers, helping them thrive. We could become more valuable to them. We could tailor some of our products for their customers, helping them stand out from their competitors. And if they're successful, we share in that success. They'll buy more, we'll sell more. We know their demographic quite well, and we could work together on making something of value for their customers. There's a side benefit there. We'll reduce our marketing costs if we can make the same revenue with fewer customers."

Turn the belief around.
"Having fewer customers means having more profit.'

Might that be as true as or truer than the original belief?
"I can see that it might be at least as true. It depends on what we are doing to get more customers, and on what we could do without trying so hard to get more. We could focus on our most profitable customers. We could get closer to our most valuable customers. We could definitely be integrated more tightly. We could focus on helping our customers' businesses do better."

Can you find three examples to make that a true statement?
"One, we could focus on the customers that have the strongest cash positions, the ones who are most likely to weather the recession.

"Two, we could stop wasting time on difficult customers, the ones that keep changing their orders. They're very high maintenance, but we keep them because we think we need them to meet our numbers.

"And three, we could stop serving customers that don't pay in a timely manner, the ones with poor payment history."

In this example, we see how challenging a simple but powerful belief in the sales team– that "having more customers mean having more profit" leads us to a new strategy to survive and profit in a recessionary economy. What's more, the customers we get closer too during these trying times are the ones who will appreciate and trust us when times get better. So by shrinking our customer base, we actually improve our long-term profitability.

Comment by Orly Zirinsky on May 4, 2009 at 9:22pm

Dear Katie,

I'm confused. I thought The Work was about accepting reality as it is. Not to struggle with what you want, but to see how things are and accept that.

Now I see you doing The Work with businesses and asking them to change what they are doing by challenging their assumptions. Isn't this a contradiction? If I accept things as they are, why do I need to change them?

Best wishes,

Martin

Dearest Martin,

The Work is not only about accepting reality as it is, it always is as it is in the moment, in action or not, it is what it is in this moment now perfectly; The Work is about questioning your stressful thoughts and finding peace with what is and even beyond acceptance to celebration. As I have said many times, I couldn’t let go of my stressful thoughts, I questioned them deeply, and they let go of me, and this is true for millions of people doing The Work. When you accept reality just as it is, because there is nothing between you and reality, you are no longer superimposing your thought onto reality. So even acceptance is not necessary at that point. You simply, naturally, become a lover of what is.

When I do The Work with businesses, I don’t ask them to change what they are doing, it shows up on its own as they do The Work, what to do is a byproduct of The Work. I don’t have to give advice.

I simply invite them to question their assumptions, and change unfolds by itself. Obviously, I love watching the personalized “change wisdom” pour out of question four’s answers, as well as the examples given for each turnaround. I love watching the waste that happens in business reveal itself through the answers within question three and some of the turnarounds. When the mind sees through its own assumptions, it becomes clearer, kinder, and more efficient. It has to. That's its own law.

If you love what is and couldn’t be happier with your life and can’t find a single problem in your relationships or in your business, of course there is no need to do The Work, and I invite you and the world to do The Work for the love of peace and joy. That's my job.

If you are dreaming at night and love your dream, do you want anyone to wake you up? But if you are in a nightmare, full of fear and stress, don’t you want someone to say, "Wake up"? Well, if this is true as well for your waking dreams, and you are in a nightmare, the someone to wake you up is yourself, and The Work is how, and with all my heart I welcome to The Work everyone caught in the dream of suffering.
Love,
bk
Taken from Byron Katie's recent Newsletter

Comment by Orly Zirinsky on May 1, 2009 at 11:35pm

The person who loves what is makes use of anything life happens to bring her way, because she doesn’t con or fool herself. What comes her way is always good, even though people may say otherwise, she sees clearly. There is no adversity in her life. The only adversity in her life is lived out through others’ experience, the old ones that now are only familiar to her. As she became enlightened to the way of it, others learn the way of it. There is no adversity. Someone tells her, “I’m leaving you” she feels the excitement rising within her, as she can see only the advantages in that. Someone says, “I’m joining you,” and she can see only the advantages in that. What could be a more powerful experience than silence? “He’s joining me now.” What could be a dearer experience than him joining me? He’s leaving. She loses her eyesight. No she doesn’t. She has come to see that it’s not possible. The faces are no different than the leaves on a tree. It’s all in her mind. Her mind is everything. And then surgeries come into play - wonderful surgeries that are stable and effective. She doesn’t need the eyesight, and there’s nothing she can do not to see what she is to see. The way of it is always dearer than our thoughts about it. And our thoughts about it are all that is of the way of it. She is in them idle of the dearest life, as she is working away on her computer, and her son comes to visit. That turned out to be the deadline, not what she thought it was. She loves her deadlines, they’re always on time. She, like everything else, is the beautiful simple flow of the way of it.-Byron Katie

Comment by Orly Zirinsky on May 1, 2009 at 12:43am

Why Can't We Change?

We all know people, family members, or friends who find change difficult.

We know people who always seem to drift into painful relationships. As soon as they get out of one painful relationship, they begin another. Why can’t they change?

We know people who are afraid of life. They stay at home, wrapped in their shroud of loneliness, wondering why they are so depressed. We know beautiful people who insist on dwelling on a minor blemish to feel ugly. We also know people who are angry because things aren’t the way they should be. Maybe they have a job they don’t like. Maybe their child or spouse is sick. Maybe they can’t stand their neighbors. Maybe they’re angry at God. Why can’t they change?

Some of us are stressed about our finances, work, our jobs, our mortgages. We can’t sleep at night. We are quick to anger. We lose our tempers with our loved ones, our friends, our co-workers. Some of us are addicted to food, drugs, alcohol, sex, money, ideas, you name it. We make resolutions only to break them. We think we disappoint everyone around us. Why can’t we change?

The one thing all of us have in common is our excuses. Every vice has an excuse ready:

- I don't have the willpower.

- I don't have the money.

- I'm too young/old.

- My kids/parents/spouse/friends won't let me.

- I don't know how.

- It's not my fault, it's ______________'s fault.

- It's not ______________'s fault, it's all my fault.

We cling to our stories and can't let go. Just the thought of change is stressful. We can't change when we don't really want to.

--Byron Katie (Taken from byronkatie.com)

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