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What You Seek is What is Seeking - God is Closer to You than Your Self

The Maturation of the Soul - by Eric Allen Bell

The nature of consciousness is that it evolves.  Everything is comprised of consciousness.  Non-local consciousness is the ground of all being.  You are an expression of the infinite consciousness that knows no boundaries.  That which looks out through your eyes, that which seems like individual consciousness, evolves.  It was evolving before it put on the garment of the body you presently inhabit.  It evolves in this lifetime.  It continues to evolve after the consciousness has left the body.  There is no beginning or end to you.

So what is the nature of where we find ourselves, located in time and space?  What is this place?  It is a story, both real and unreal.  Evolution occurs in response to crisis.  And from the moment you enter this domain, crying, hungry and helpless, the crisis has begun.  And thus so too has the soul begun a new stage in its evolution.

And then one day or night, the mind will stumble upon a question it simply cannot let go of.  Within the narrow confines of time and space, the mind will ask “What is the point?”  And thus the crisis of self has discovered a new dimension. 

A point, the point, is something which can only be located in time and space.  Where else would a point be located?  And yet time and space are but a fraction of that limitless field of consciousness that we might call “reality”.   When one reaches this point of crisis, within the story, this is the invitation to transcend.  The crisis is the invitation.

It may often seem at first that the resolution to this crisis can be found within the world.  And one may search this world, looking for answers.  And there exists no shortage of appealing concepts, belief systems and personalities, which will temporarily satisfy this need to resolve the crisis of self.  The temptation may run high, to drop anchor there and to declare,  "I've found it!”

And one may bask in this illusion until the illusion is seen for what it is, and the illusion fades.  When the illusion fades, these things no longer satisfy.  And when the mind becomes unsatisfied, a crisis occurs.  And in that crisis, one finds the invitation to go deeper.

When the answers provided by this world, slip away like sand falling from the tight grip of your hands, the invitation to go deeper is undeniable.  And yet, the self-concept, with its mandate to survive, will do everything in its power to deny it.

The temptation arises to view ones journey as a series of mistakes.  And in this world, there are entire industries that exist to exploit that point of view.  The proprietors of such an industry promise to fix you, to make you whole again.  But they cannot.  Still, one may need to visit this place to know for sure.  And in time, you will find yourself, back at the beginning, back at the initial crisis of yourself.

Why must this process of evolution be so difficult?  If you knew, would that make it any easier?  The nature of this place we find ourselves is such that evolution occurs in response to crisis.  And clearly we are here to evolve.  Why must this process of evolution, the maturation of the soul, be so painful?  It doesn't always have to be.  Where is the pain?  Where is it?  Is it not inside your self?  Aren't you the origin of it?  Where, besides the body and the mind, does this pain exist?

The material world is a part of the spiritual world.  They are not separate.  It’s not either-or.  The material world is an expression of the spiritual world.  So why not enjoy it?

Who is the author of all of this?  Who is writing your story?  If your individual consciousness is a part of the infinite consciousness, a drop of water in an endless sea of consciousness, then who are you?  Isn’t that the real question you have been looking into all along?  That question also looks back, into you.  You are the author, you are the protagonist and you are the antagonist in this story.  There is no story without conflict.  And evolution occurs in response to conflict.  Can you be at peace with that?


Eric Allen Bell is Founder of
Multimedia for Mystics


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Tags: Eric-Allen-Bell, ego, enlightenment, god-realization, reincarnation, samsara, self-realization, spiritual-blogs, spiritual-networks, spirituality, More…vedanta


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Comment by Alexi on November 4, 2012 at 4:25pm

I’ve found it intriguing in discussion forums around spirituality how fast “positioning” can disrupt the messages being exchanged.  In full candor, I am not immune from this folly myself.  Still, I must share (as someone fairly new to inquiry on such matters), when I see this happening, I find myself thinking of Rumi’s poem citing “all the clever humans”

Dylon -  to your point on “language and subterfuge”, I encourage you to re-review both Eric and Debrah’s comments in context with ‘As a Particle of Dust’ by Rumi.  Whenever I find myself arguing semantics, I re-read that poem.  I did truly appreciate your comments, I just wasn't sure where they were leading?

Eric – on your comment:

“The question is this, when the pain emerges, ‘What do you make it mean?’. In the absence of mastering the mind, the pain becomes the master, and the avoidance of pain becomes the mandate of the person”

Interestingly, the last answer hit home…perhaps because I was thinking of it in context of how one would master a (potentially scary, disturbing or painful) dream

If you dream vividly, there is no separation of “self”, and it’s interesting how in the avoidance of pain in a dream, the dream may actually get worse, or reoccur until the root issue at the core of the pain is worked out subconsciously or consciously.  People who have serious sleep-related issues may choose many paths (such as self-medication), but mastery of the mind – specific to “What do you make it mean?”  - to face what your dream is revealing to you (i.e., what you are revealing to yourself) – is often the fastest, most sure-fire way to remove the pain from your own story, and thus, get a peaceful night’s rest

In context of dreams, arguments about what is conscious and “not conscious”, whether self is consistent, evolving, whether there is duality or not - are really quite irrelevant.  You must master your own mind, reformulate against the survival mandate in those dreams.  Interesting - if I view it from a context of dreaming, it is easy to understand how I am in fact the “author, protagonist and antagonist in the story”. 

Mastering the mind on a “waking” level is much more difficult, but I think I understand this thread a little better now

Thank you

Comment by Debrah McCabe on November 4, 2012 at 4:25am

"to allude to something and share a sentiment. "  Exactly!

Comment by Eric Allen Bell on November 3, 2012 at 9:40pm

It's not the stuff of logic and language, when challenged or looked at closely will generally fail.  When disucussing matters of consciousness, outside of the realm of science, in more metaphysical terms, perhaps the best we can hope for with language is to allude to something and share a sentiment.  

Comment by Debrah McCabe on November 3, 2012 at 7:14am

I think it is a game that humans like to get into, even those who think they are evolving.  The game of words and besting one another with those words.  We all do it and I include myself in that criticism.  But really, are those words between like-minded 'disagree-ers' really critical to our evolution or is it more important to just realize that we are all the same being, all one(One)?  In 20 years, who will remember any of the words here? 

We argue with words, but they are a pale description of reality and it's not worth getting worked up over, i.e. who used which word and when...... 

While the speakers may be forgotten, will those who practiced that 'One-ness' in their lives be remembered and cherished for their loving goodness?   Language does only take us so far, but what really counts is how we travel this road and who is benefited by our journey. 

Comment by Dylon Wilder on November 3, 2012 at 4:07am

You use the language of non duality when it suits you. You use subterfuge when that falls short. 

Comment by Eric Allen Bell on November 3, 2012 at 4:04am

Dylon -

Of course, we are speaking in concepts.  Language can only take us so far.  That said, you stated "You experience a self..." Who is the "you" who is experiencing a "self" in that concept?  Are they two different entities?  Who experiences the self?

Comment by Dylon Wilder on November 2, 2012 at 4:23am

That the self has a nature which is consistent and shared by all selves is a concept. You experience a self that desires to evolve. That’s all you can say.

Comment by Eric Allen Bell on November 2, 2012 at 3:42am

Alexi - So you see there is no way to outsmart the pain, no philosophy will get you out of it.  We can use Zen and say that you and the pain are not separate, except as a trick of the mind.  But then there is still the pain.  And many Zen practitioners would respond by saying it is you who failed Zen.  How convenient.  The pain is a reality, insofar as the brain/body organism is concerned.  The question is this, when the pain emerges, "What do you make it mean?"  In the absence of mastering the mind, the pain becomes the master, and the avoidance of pain becomes the mandate of the person.  As the mind is mastered, one is not so bound by the survival mandate.  When captured by the survival mandate, very little can be truly realized.

Comment by Eric Allen Bell on November 2, 2012 at 3:37am

Dylon - Correct.  Nothing is also part of consciousness.  Everything and nothing are the same things but called by different names.

As for a "destination" such thing can only exist within time and space - that being a dimension of reality which is ultimately unreal.  So here once again language reveals its limitations.  The "Self" has nothing to evolve towards and yet the nature of the "self" is to evolve.

Comment by Dylon Wilder on November 1, 2012 at 4:35am

“The nature of consciousness is that it evolves.  Everything is comprised of consciousness.”

These two statements are self-cancelling. If everything is consciousness then nothing isn’t consciousness. Evolution would suggest an expansion beyond what already is which means there is a destination which isn’t currently within consciousness or made of consciousness. Evolution is merely one more illusion within the allness or oneness of consciousness. There is nothing to evolve toward as I already am it. We’re all free to follow whatever illusion tickles our fancy but waking up is seeing through all illusion.


Eric Allen Bell




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