"TheThree gatekeepers"

"The words of the tongue should have three gatekeepers."


-Arab proverb


Before words get past the lips, the first gatekeeper asks,

"Is this true?" That stops a lot of traffic

immediately. But if the words get past the first gatekeeper,

there is a second who asks, "Is it kind?" And

for those words that qualify here too, the last gatekeeper

asks, "Is it necessary?"


With these three on guard, most of us would find very little

to say. Here I think it is necessary to make exceptions in

the interests of good company and let the third gatekeeper

look the other way now and then. After all, a certain amount

of pleasant conversation is part of the artistry of living.

But the first two gatekeepers should always be on duty.


It is so easy to say something at the expense of another for

the purpose of enhancing our own image. But such remarks

- irresistible as they may be - serve only to

fatten our egos and agitate others. We should be so fearful

of hurting people that even if a clever remark is rushing

off our tongue, we can barricade the gate. We should be able

to swallow our cleverness rather than hurt someone. Better

to say something banal but harmless than to be clever at

someone else's expense.

****
This post is from

Eknath Easwaran's book' Words to Live By'